This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.

Thinking back, I can pinpoint the moment I realized math and I didn’t get along. I was in kindergarten and became frustrated with a counting task. It was at this moment my relationship with numbers devolved. This has impacted my confidence to be successful in future math tasks for the last, oh…25 years. I still squirm when I have to put my quantitative skills to work.

Have you ever noticed you have a history of disappointing grades in a particular subject? As you can see, for me it was the infamous math—a mathlete I am not. I prided myself on being talented in other areas, so I rationalized my low math grades telling myself: “Well, you can’t be good at everything!”

A Pattern of Negativity

This rationalization came easily for me, but that is not always the case for first-generation college students who may not know that many students struggle in some areas. And, there are not always people around who have been through it to let you know how normal it is to wrestle with academic work until you get it. Even that student who eagerly raises her hand while pulsing out of her chair, “ooh, oohing” to be recognized, struggles too. And, while it’s true that people harbor a variety of aptitudes in different areas, struggling in a particular area can cultivate a pattern of negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

You might feel like you will never be good at [insert subject here] and wonder why you should bother trying. You may carry such disdain for a subject that you select your major based on the degree to which you can avoid taking certain classes in that dreaded area. This can manifest in many ways for many first-generation college students, from artificially hindering potential to failure to earn a degree.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is a hot topic of conversation in almost every industry: Ecologists, economists and psychologists want to know how to improve outcomes for those who have experienced significant duress. In college, bouncing back after earning one low grade isn’t quite resilience; developing a plan to recover from a lifetime of academic or personal hardship is. Resilience is even more important for first-generation college students who may initially have the confidence to be successful in college, but tend to recalibrate their feelings of academic confidence after falling short of their goals.

First-generation students might compare themselves to others in their classes who seem to just “get it”; incidentally, those who seem to get it are often dealing with their own struggles (academic or otherwise), but it may be less obvious. Feelings of being the only one who is struggling can influence motivation and interest: Rather than adopting helpful strategies to improve these struggles, students might feel their future looks more and more dismal.

Four Ways to Build Up Your Academic Resilience

The good news is that it is rarely too late to get help. Here’s what to do:

1. Ask for help—early.

Many students forget that an important part of the learning process includes getting answers wrong. This offers an opportunity to clarify understanding. If something doesn’t make sense to you, reach out and reach out often. Connect with your professor or teaching assistant, find a study buddy in class or borrow notes from someone doing well in the class. Simply because you’ve tended to struggle in a subject does not mean this must always be the case. Some people only seek help after they have failed two of three exams in a class and it’s a week before finals. This approach could help you next semester but what about this one? Get help early enough to employ the assistance you receive. There’s lots of research to suggest you can improve your skills, but first you must believe you can.

2. Build a community.

College can feel overwhelming at times. Find people who share your interests and have had experiences similar to your own. There will be some people who won’t understand why you are having a hard time and some who will. Surround yourself with people who “get” you —both students and professors. While this tip may not sound as relevant to college success, research shows that increasing your social capital, or networking, is one of the best ways to find support and develop opportunities. Growing your academic family is just as important as staying connected to loved ones at home. You don’t have to do it all on your own!

3. Develop a plan.

One of the most challenging aspects for many college students is managing it all, from finances to finals. Let’s face it: college is expensive and so many students must concurrently hold jobs to support themselves or family members. This tip is twofold. First, create a budget incorporating college and living expenses. Spend some time visiting your financial aid office. Make sure you know what options are available to you in terms of scholarships, grants and loans. Second, if you must work, carve out time to study and try to set a schedule that is realistic for you. Something that worked for me in graduate school (when it was necessary to fill my schedule with many academic and non-academic related tasks) was to fill in a blank weekly calendar. Below is an example. 

Schedule

Create a schedule to plan your time.

This way I was able to see what time I had to study, make appointments or just relax. I was also able to prevent double-booking myself so I appeared more reliable to my peers and instructors. This leads me to my fourth and final tip…

4. Focus on you.

Planning for academic and personal success is important because some first-generation college students have so much on their plates that they tend to overburden themselves with commitments. When you are constantly busy helping other people, it’s easy to prioritize others’ needs over your own by explaining that you are doing important things for people you care about. If you’ve ever traveled by plane, you’ve heard this during the safety speech and it’s a metaphor I use again and again: “Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.” You are the only one who can do well in your classes, impress your professors and, ultimately, achieve your goals, so make sure you set aside time to do that. Focusing on you, however, may be more successful with help from others in your network; this means benefiting from study groups you organize or meeting with a mentor you trust to help clarify your goals.

So, did I ever successfully tackle my history of struggle with math and join the ranks of the mathletic? Not exactly. But, I did identify that this is an area in which I tended to get discouraged, so I planned extra time and recruited additional support to earn the grades I wanted in my math courses. It took a village of friends, tutors and instructors, but it also took an understanding of myself as a student; I learned to anticipate where I might get frustrated and took that challenge head on. Just as my resilience helped me overcome my longtime barriers with math, I hope these tips help you in your journey as first-generation college students!