Hi everyone!
My fall semester ended, and I finally received my final grades for all the courses I took, which inspired me to write about doubt. As a first-generation college student, I always wonder if my knowledge capabilities are good enough to apply to certain jobs or internships. I would not say I do not have confidence in myself because throughout my time in college, I have achieved many good things, but there is always some self-doubt. It is hard not to feel that way because I know I do not have the same access to resources as some of my peers, or I did not understand the material as quickly as they did, I was not good enough in my academics or felt that I would not receive the same internships even though I attended the same college and passed my courses.
This train of thought came from two classes I took this semester, one Economic course and a computer science class. I struggled heavily with learning and understanding my computer science class material. The first exam came, and I did not do well, making me doubt if I could even pass the course. I felt lost and hopeless that I could do well in the course. We had to write a research paper and use statistics in economics class. I struggled with finding a topic; when I did find one, it took much work to collect and run the data. I did not have much hope that I would receive a good score on the paper because I lacked the important materials and skills. However, even though I doubted myself in both classes, I did way better than I expected.
My purpose in telling this story is that even though I had doubts about succeeding in the classes, I still took the initiative to ask for help from my professors quite often, went to TA hours, and received help from friends in the class. It is essential to recognize that you may have these doubts in your mind, but that should not stop you from actively pursuing things and putting your best effort into them. Without me putting effort into those courses and just giving up because of my doubts, I would not have been able to do as well as I did. It is okay to have doubts about yourself but do not let those doubts make you give up on your goal because the doubts do not define who you indeed are as a student and person.
I hope everyone is enjoying their break and are ready to tackle the new semester!
Best,
Tosin