So I took my first round of junior- year midterms a couple of weeks ago (granted, there are only two so I don’t know why I wrote that sentence as if there were many more rounds of junior-year midterms to come.. Hahaa). But reflecting on that, I am realizing how much I have changed over my last few years. I remember how much I studied freshman year and how little sleep I got my last two years. This semester, I have really prioritized my sleep, both for my personal care and for my studies. Im realizing how much happier, calm, and clearer minded I am when I sleep.. Not to mention the endless studies that show sleeping helps consolidate memories so it’s actually good for your studies, too! I’ve also found that I spend less time studying because I study more effectively now.. study hard, study smart.
It’s honestly been hard for me to study at all this semester. I’m not necessarily saying my grades are plummeting! My grades are fine.. But it’s been pretty hard for me to adjust to being in America, even months after returning from India. I still wake up thinking about India everyday and have been working hard to get myself back there this summer. I think I’ve just learned to appreciate the strength of human relationships, both brief and long-lasting ones, and to prioritize those over getting the best grades. I’ve come to question all the things that I used to be interested in and the approaches I used to use: “science,” biomedicine, notions of “culture”. All big ideas, all simultaneously everything and nothing because we use them so ambiguously. I’m also interested in how the ways we use these words reflect our value systems. For example, using “science” (something supposedly an objective truth) to explain to people why they should get the measles vaccination won’t work when maternal/paternal instincts emerge to protect their child out of fear and personal rights. We have to find a different way to talk about it and discussing the choice in terms of science paints people as uneducated when thats not the case at all! And it does nothing to actually convince them to get the vaccine. In the end, all we have done is grown stronger in our own convictions and using scientific evidence as the standard bearer is tricky.. Granted, we do understand the potential for the vaccine in this particular situation and it does benefit populations as well as individuals, but my point is framing conversations around science has limitations and we should acknowledge that.
So, here I am, a neuroscience major lost in the world of science. This has been great fun.. haha. Some days are better than others, and I really do love molecular neuro and getting down a single protein to learn about it. Other days all I want to do is read ethnographies.. Wow, I am so glad I have both of these loves to balance each other out. And I am so grateful to the people in my life who understand each of these loves.
So much changes in three years.