Expectations Pt. 3
As I sit in a now deserted library, my self-made calculus study guide being my only companion, feeling the pressure of midterms, my thoughts begin to wander. I think about the people having fun tonight, those who are going out and ignoring the fact that they have midterms next week. Their life seems so easy, so carefree. I am going to be honest and say that there are times where I wonder why I do the things I do. Why do I worry about classes as much as I do? Why do I choose to do work after I go out Friday nights? Why am I awake at this hour doing triple derivatives and finding volumes under spheres and cones? As you can see, my mind goes to many places and questions many things. Yet, the answer to all these questions is one that I know quite well.
I do what I do because that is what I am here to do. Simple as that but yet, there is complexity behind this. What is it that I am here to do? Well, there is no simple answer to this. I am here for a variety of reasons. Beyond the personal reasons of why I am here (better future, become a learned intellectual), I am here representing my race, my family, my community, and my high school. All of this ties in to the third type of expectations; those of your family and those of your community.
When you are sent off to college, whether said or not, there is an expectation for you to do well. You, your family and your high school have worked for years for you to reach this stage and it is expected for you to not throw this chance away. This being said, these expectations are at times heavy and create the fear of disappointing the people that have helped you get here. I can attest to this personally. I feel that I have to put forth my best in order to make my parents proud, make my community proud and show that my high school does have talent within its walls. Anything that does not show my best effort is, in a way, letting everyone down. It sounds harsh right?
It is and in the first few weeks here, this mentality set added more stress to an already stressful first term. As I’ve come to learn, behind every hardship here, there is a lesson. From this, I have learned to not be so harsh on myself. In college, I have learned that it is all right to fall down a couple times for this is just a natural part of the college process. As long as you are putting your best effort forward, you are not disappointing anyone. No one expects you to get perfect grades during your first term since you are faced with such an abrupt transition both academically and socially. If there is something that I could tell you about college is that it is ok to break down. You are not letting anyone down if you do not get the perfect grades. Actually, breaking down gives you a chance to rebuild and reconsider things which lead to a better strategy at approaching things.
Do not let expectations weigh you down and remember that at the end of the day, home will always have its arms open, ready to embrace you and welcome you, no matter what your grades are first semester.