This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.
My high school was a small school that contained grades seven through 12. Everyone knew everybody and people knew your business even before you did; but, I loved it. I was a four-year starter on both the varsity basketball and volleyball teams and even accomplished my high school dream of winning a volleyball state championship my senior year; I also broke two school records for serving. I had my best friends from kindergarten by my side, my boyfriend, whom I started dating as a sophomore, plus a wonderful, loving and supportive family: I should have been the happiest senior out there. However, the thought of leaving my small hometown and my tight-knit family scared me.
I had gone on tours to numerous colleges but found something wrong with every single one–until I came to Merrimack. Merrimack College is a small school where you know just about everyone who walks by you as you go to class. It reminded me of my high school. It was a small, tight-knit community and, most importantly, I wouldn’t just be a face to my professors; they would know my name and I would develop friendships with them. Not only did I choose to attend Merrimack, but so did my boyfriend, Marcus, who plays on the basketball team. Everything seemed great: I was starting a new chapter in life, I was only an hour and a half away from home and I had my boyfriend with me.
Moving In
August had come and some of my friends had already left for school excited and happy to start this new chapter in their lives; however, I was sad. I didn’t want to leave home and I missed my friends, but knew I had to go. Move-in day came and I begged my parents and sister to stay as long as possible. When it was time for them to leave, I gave quick hugs and kisses and walked back to my dorm with Marcus with tears streaming down my cheeks. I was placed in a forced triple room, and one of my roommates was an international student who didn’t understand me; I also got the top bunk. I am 5 feet 8 inches tall, and needless to say I could not sit up straight in bed. I was miserable.
Classes started and I just could not make myself happy. I hadn’t met any friends other than one of my roommates. I was shy and couldn’t get myself to come out of my shell.
Adjusting
I became very depressed and would call my mom every single day, crying and begging her to come and get me, let me transfer … anything to get me out of there. This became a daily occurrence, even with the comfort of my boyfriend of three years at school with me. There were numerous weekends that my sister and brother-in-law came and stayed in a hotel just to comfort me and take me out to dinner, numerous times that I begged my parents to come and spend the day with me. My time at Merrimack just was not getting better. I had been placed on anxiety and anti-depression medicine and still had only a few friends.
My first semester of college went by and I managed to maintain my grades, earning straight A’s. My time at school was getting a little better; however; the comfort of my own home, family and friends for the next two months was exactly what I needed.
Starting Over
Over Christmas break I did a lot of thinking. Why am I so sad? I see my family very often and don’t live far from home. By this point my international student roommate had moved out, so I lived in a normal double were I could comfortably sit up in my bed, which was now on the floor; I had my boyfriend at school with me and was getting good grades. Something clicked in my head: Why should I stay miserable at a place where I will be basically living for the next four years? Why not put myself out there, make new friends and have a positive college experience? This is just what I did. When my parents brought me back from Christmas break (this time no tears were shed), I put myself out there and tried to get to know everyone on my floor; eventually, I made some of the best friends.
I Love College!
Transition from high school to college is a huge step for anybody, especially someone who comes from a small town and school and was a big fish in a little sea. College is just the opposite: I became a little fish in a big sea, but that’s okay. I have made many new friends who I know could not picture my life without; I have joined new groups and played intramural sports. Most importantly, I have learned to love college–not just any college … Merrimack College.