Sometimes I marvel at how long we can struggle on completing a problem set, writing a sentence or being in a situation before we think to tackle our struggles in a new perspective. I understand the feeling of wanting to get something done. We’re always on a mission to complete another task. We have a huge checklist and we’re so eager to check things off that for a moment or for me a semester all you do is think about that checklist. Check, scribble something new, complain, realize that you need to add something else and repeat.
Last semester I figured out the simplest solution there is: replace complain with vent effectively. It’s important to let go some steam but don’t be one of those people who just whine and become a party pooper. And also don’t be one of those people who keeps everything bottle in. We’re human… we can sense when something is wrong. So if people come up to with a “What’s wrong?” then it’s clear you need to talk to someone.
It’s hard though. Sometimes when I talk about my personal problems I feel like I’m gossiping about myself- which makes me feel bad. I was tempted to think I should not take time out from my important work for complaining. I mean the work still needs to be done. I only thought of it as wasting time. But then I started to make it part of my mission to vent effectively to my older sisters or my best friend. And, I noticed it was good for my sanity. I felt better, got great advice and realized that my strength was an inspiration to others. But more importantly, I learned more about others’ struggles and how they were overcoming them. Our tasks can be accomplished when we bring our problems to those who we care about. They help remind us what needs to be done and what’s the purpose for doing it.
So this year I encourage everyone to take advantage of the fact that those you care about are always the first response to your struggle not the last resort. Look to them as a refuel to your drive and passion. They’ll be the ones to keep you on track. Unless it’s a Friday evening and there’s a full tank of gas: then you better be prepare for one big distraction.
Smiles!