In one of my other blog posts, I mentioned my post-midterms slump. For a lot of my friends and I, once midterms were over, I felt extremely burnt out and I lost a lot of motivation to put my all into the rest of the semester. I came into the semester knowing it was going to be the hardest so far. I decided to take on 18 credits, with 4 out of 5 of my classes going towards my majors and wanting to boost my GPA. In addition to this, I would be working for the admissions office as well as participating in three clubs. For the first half of the semester, I set goals of getting a Computer Science tutor, utilizing the writing center for my English classes and starting on assignments and tasks once I received them. In order to check off all the things on my planner, I began to lose sleep and spent my days staring at my computer screen, only leaving it to eat and go to the bathroom or buy a cup of coffee outside. My mind felt like it was on overdrive and I was constantly thinking about what task I needed to get done next. And while all my hard work was paying off in my classes, my health began to decline, I was barely talking to my friends unless it was about homework and I stopped spending time with my family. All of these issues were building up to the week of midterms when I had an unexpected death in the family that hit me extremely hard.
In a year of so much loss, I began to lose sight of the bigger picture. I was so concerned with putting my all into each project, each paper, each club. I had tunnel vision and it wasn’t until I was hit with grief during the hardest week of my life that I had to take a step back and just breathe. I needed to be with my family because that was my priority and I communicated this to my professors and they were very understanding. I ended up doing okay on midterms especially given the circumstances and decided to make some changes to my routine. I began to take more walks around my neighborhood. I made sure that these walks only had one purpose, to walk and listen to music and just relax. They were not meant to go run an errand like picking up groceries or buying lunch, etc. This was just my time to get away from my computer. I was surprised by the fact that this one small change had made me feel so much better. I began to invest in my friendships more during this time as well because it is so easy to get lost in the void of emails and Zoom calls and homework. As independent as you may be, humans are social creatures who need each other to bring us up and remind us of our goals and motivate each other.
I’m going to be honest, it took a lot for me to get back on track. My actions in the first half of the semester had a lasting impact on the rest of the semester but they allowed me to realize what works and what doesn’t during an online semester in the midst of a global pandemic. You don’t always have to put your 100% in 100% of the activities you are participating in or 100% of the classes you are taking. It is okay to not do a reading or submit an assignment late or take a longer nap or sleep in. This time has drained all of us and has taught us to be more honest with ourselves and about our needs. If it hadn’t been for all of my ups and downs this semester, I would not be prepared to take on another possible semester of Zoom University. I have learned so much from this time and I am sure you all have as well.
I wish you all the best. Stay safe and good luck!