My name is Irelyn Rogan, and I am a first-generation college student. This is a fact that many do not know about me, including some of my closest friends. Being a first-gen student means that both of your parents never completed college – or even attended college.
Personally, both of my parents attended college but dropped out shortly after entering. I am so proud of myself for going to college and beating the stereotype that was cast on my family; however, being first-gen also makes me feel like an outcast at times.
I feel that I am constantly surrounded by peers who are better than me. Better than me because their parents have degrees and make more money and have alma maters and etc. etc. Or better than me because they don’t need financial aid and they obviously work harder and obviously have a more deserving spot because of who their parents are. This negative self-talk is called the impostor phenomenon. This imposter phenomenon is an experience that almost every first-gen student I know has gone through. It is the feeling that you do not belong where you are – that you are an imposter in your own life. It’s a very out of body experience and can lead to a lot of spiraling thoughts. There will be days where I sit in class and cannot even focus because I feel that I do not belong – that I am not good enough to be in the space that I am in.
In addition, all of my closest friends have parents who went to college and are extremely successful. They make more money than my family, and I have always felt less than them because of that. Writing it out, I know these thoughts are silly, but I can’t help but to think them.
On the other hand, being a first-generation student can be one of the most rewarding experiences. The empowerment that I have felt since entering college is unbelievable. The fact that I have gotten myself here and can juggle so many things at once blows my own mind sometimes.
One of my favorite parts of being a first-generation college student at VCU is the YouFirst program. The YouFirst program is full of facilities, staff, students, and alumni that are all first-gen and it creates such a beautiful community. It is one of my greatest honors of being a college student to be a part of this program. Within YouFirst, I am also a peer mentor. Currently, I am a senior mentor and have had 5 mentees who have quickly become some of my dear friends. These mentoring relationships have led me to grow as a leader, student, and person overall. As well, this opportunity has given me more perspective and community in being a first-gen student.
Being first-gen is not easy by any means, but it is such an empowering experience. It provides you with many learning experiences, opportunities, growth, and provides you with such an amazing community. I am proud to be a first-generation student and am excited to see where my college career will take me.