This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.
Ever since I was little, I had dreamed about going to college and experiencing the excitement of being in a new place, with new friends and new opportunities. However, college is stressful, and unfortunately it is even more stressful for first-generation college students. The truth is that as first-generation college students, we have not been raised hearing stories of our parents’ collegiate glory days, nor have all of us been brought up on the principle that college is necessary and vital to our lives. So, what are we supposed to do when we get to college and are belittled and classified as minorities? Who are we supposed to turn to for support? When we are in a new place with new opportunities and new obstacles to overcome, there is nothing left for us to do but rise above.
Arriving at “Home Away From Home”
When I landed in Columbus, Ohio last August I was surprised to see how different everything was from San Francisco. I immediately became nervous as I realized that everyone was Caucasian; I had been so used to the vibrant colors of races that walk the streets of my hometown. Were they going to hate me for being Mexican? Were they going to notice that I was gay? As all these questions ran through my mind I ran out of the airport and hopped in a shuttle that was heading toward Denison University, my soon-to-be “home away from home.” When I arrived on campus I immediately fell in love. Everyone was extremely nice and friendly, and I had a great first day on campus.
Facing My First On-campus Challenge
As everyone settled into campus over the next few days, I got to meet even more people who lived in my residence hall. One night, while sitting in our living room we got onto the topic of religion and one of my already-close guy friends started talking about homosexuality and how it was a sin. There are no words to describe how awkward the situation was for me. I quickly got up and left and everyone noticed. For the next few days this individual began harassing me and asking me why I was uncomfortable with talking about gay people; I finally asked him to stop talking about gay people because I was gay. He flipped out. I will never forget the look of disgust on his face or the feeling of guilt that ran through my body. If there was ever a time that I wished I wasn’t gay, it was then.
Until the middle of September I was miserable. I made myself an outcast to the point where I would only leave to go to class and spent most of my time sleeping. I did not eat, I stopped going to parties and I was not very social, which was a new thing for me because I have always been a friendly person. During that time I met a girl on campus who started to gain feelings for me and I did whatever I could to push my own feelings aside. I was terrified of even talking to her because I did not want her to receive the same treatment I had. It’s not fun having a bible thrown at you or being picked on for being yourself, and I felt that by doing whatever I could to keep a relationship from forming, I would save her from harassment.
Learning to Rise Above
When thinking about one’s “dream school,” one usually focuses on topics relating to acceptance and how friendly and homelike a campus is. However, the truth about going to college is that all schools have the potential of being our new home away from home, a new place where we can make our dreams a reality. It doesn’t matter where we end up, who else lives in our residence hall or who we meet and fall in love with. Now is not the time to worry about being accepted! It’s time for us to grow up, stick up for ourselves, be true to who we are and stand up for what we believe in.
I believe that we are all created equally and have the potential to do whatever we set our minds to. It was not until I had experienced such a horrible first semester of college that I realized that I had the power to make my situation better. I had a group of friends who did not care about my sexual preference and by that time I even had a girlfriend who loved me for me. While stressing out about whether or not I should report the harassment, I thought of all the other gay students on Denison’s campus, the ones who might have been harassed but were too afraid to say anything. I had been afraid for so long that I finally just took a chance and, with the support of my friends, reported the harassment to one of my professors. After reporting the issue, I found that I also had a group of school administrators on my side. I finished my freshman year of college with a smile on my face because I was not going to let anyone belittle me anymore. I finished that year having risen above.