As someone who underwent severe anxiety, loneliness, and I would venture to say, depression in high school, I’ve come to understand the importance of taking care of myself, especially in the midst of the world of academia. I attended a direct action training this past week, where the amazing Eaonhawinon Patricia Allen said something along the lines of, “you are the person you will spend the most time with in life, so make friends with yourself.”
Reflecting back on the years since those dreary times in high school, and recognizing how different the world feels away from that space and those times, I have compiled a list of self-care guidelines that have helped me through tough times. Note that in this list, I include productivity tips as well, since I believe that self-care is more than simply taking time off to relax, but knowing what to do with the time on so that you have more time off later on.
Disclaimer: This is coming from the perspective of an introvert who gains energy from socialization and being around people.
1. Get to know your historical self
One of the most empowering things for me my first year of college was taking Chicano/Latino history, and learning about the deep roots that Latinos have in the U.S. As I have mentioned before (https://imfirst.org/2014/11/where-school-turns-education/), being able to see myself in the books I was reading, acknowledging the historical Latino presence in this country, and making sense of my lived experience with this newfound knowledge really revamped my identity and helped me understand why I have been made to see myself as different, as “the exception” from a lot of my Latino friends at home, who have been affected by systematic injustice within the educational system. I am fortunate to attend a liberal arts school where these type of classes are encouraged, but I encourage everyone to seek out these opportunities when they are not put in front of us.
2. Get organized
I find that often times, the most stressful and draining part of business is worrying about all the things I have to do, rather than going ahead and doing them. I find that compiling a to-do list and having a tangible paper that helps me visualize the amount of things I need to do is stress-relieving in itself. Composing an agenda for the following day or for the following two days, detailing the exact times in which I will be carrying out the things in this agenda also helps me feel more at ease, knowing that it is simply a matter of following through with my plan. I also realize that this is not for everyone, and, from personal experience, that it is very easy to allow yourself to fall off this habit of following through with your plans and simply going through the process of writing them to experience that sense of comfort.
3. If possible, take a day to yourself every week
This is something I will be trying for the first time this spring semester, and I hear that whether as a religious, spiritual, or practical habit, taking a day to yourself, spending time doing life-giving activities can be quite a transformative practice. I plan to use this day not only to recharge, but to get myself out of the narrow scope of daily routine and meditate on the big picture: why am I doing what I’m doing? How is this contributing to my long-term goals? What are my long term goals? Why am I here? Who am I here for?
Which brings me to my next tip…
4. Meditate
One of the most powerful ways I have found to recenter myself is to meditate. Whether this is a short meditation to ease my social anxiety, or whether it is a longer meditation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2iCoEluq8A) to think back to all the love and community that has built me up, meditation has been a key part to helping me reenergize and refocus.
5. Learn how to make hard decisions (AKA College 101)
From a philosopher! http://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices
As you carry wayward in your college life, and continue to be pummeled by questions that spiral you into a mini anxiety fit/state of dysphoria/existential crisis, like, “What’s your major?,” realize that you have a lot of power and agency in deciding the meaning you want to attach to every hard decision you make, give yourself credit for it, and make a decision!
6. Practice gratitude
Though this almost goes without saying, I have found that going into a privileged setting such as a college campus, where complaining is a normalized, everyday-part of life, it is extremely easy to forget that it is a blessing to have my most basic life necessities met, to know that I will have a hot plate of food for dinner, that it is a privilege to have an exam be my biggest immediate worry. I think about the summers I spent working in the vineyards alongside my mom, and feel an immediate sense of gratitude for the fact that I do not have to pain my body in extreme work conditions in order to make a living, and for the fact that my parents have done so for years so that I could be here today.
7. Love yo self
You are an infinitely valuable human being. Your worth is not determined by anything you do or do not do. You are loved indefinitely. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough.
Personally, I believe that one of the most crucial parts to my general well-being has been forming deep relationships with folks who I love and am loved by, and who genuinely care for my well-being. One of my biggest obstacles to realizing that it is people who make me happy, that it is relationships that build me up, was believing that I could get out of negativity and self-deprication on my own. I realize now that in buying into these ideals of meritocracy and individualism, I was not only forgetting the values of human interconnectedness that I have been brought up on, but I was getting myself into a deeper and deeper state of loneliness. I have been fortunate enough to find some really amazing people who I know will unconditionally hold me up in times of difficulty, and who I will reciprocate this for. I was reminded of this ideal one time in my Africana Studies class, when we learned about the philosophy of “Ubuntu,” which roughly translates to “I am because we are.” It is the idea that my humanity is based on your humanity, that when your humanity is threatened, so is mine, when you are oppressed, so am I, when you hurt and when you rejoice, so do I. This has been such an incredibly important value to live by, and was one of the most transformative ideas when that led me to actively seek out people who I could live it out with, who I could trust to unashamedly show my full self to, and who would love me unconditionally.
I think its important to think of self care past the typical ideas of spa treatments, music, and personal time (all of which are important), and see the ways in which we can focus and take care of different parts of our lives that will eventually affect us directly. Hope these guidelines are of some help! Much love and many wishes of self-compassion for us all!