Last year has really shown me how much pressure I have wherever I go. I have this pressure of always being perfect and having everything together. For example, I took on the challenging role last year of becoming a JC, which is a residential assistant for freshmen at my college, all while having another job at the same time. It was already difficult being a normal student, but also serving as a role model/leader for freshmen was even harder. I always felt that I was very well known everywhere and that people were watching my every move, especially that year with COVID. There were high expectations from everyone–i.e., professors, bosses, my parents, my brother, and friends. Last fall semester I felt like I could not even take a deep breath because I was so worried that I would disappoint the people who were rooting for me. I was expected to help solve my family’s problems, even though I was in another state, all while also getting excellent grades, participating in my classes, being a role model for my brother, who follows my every footstep. Not only am I being a role model for my brother but I was also being that for first-years who were searching for someone to look up to. One of the other pressures I had was that my boss expected me to be a great example and not commit mistakes that can be seen as breaking the rules or else you feel like you will be fired. Lastly, being a great friend can be a lot because it requires me to take time out of my day to hang out, have fun, and be there for them when they need me. I really felt all these roles crushing me down one by one last semester. These are the things that all professors, institutions, and bosses should take into consideration–i.e., that we not only have academic lives, but we are barely getting to our 20s trying to figure out how to deal with life while everything in the world is spinning around. I feel like they should really spend time talking to us and really understand what we have going on. Being first-generation makes my college experience twice as hard as people who have someone close to their family to talk to about their college experiences; first-generation students are trying to juggle everything without that type of help. I had to manage my work commitments, so I can pay for my education or else my opportunity for college will be taken away. There are only certain hours of the day to be everything at once while also having time to eat, shower, and find something you enjoy. First-generation students are not ordinary college students; we should be considered the elite because we came from nothing to something big, while also balancing so much. Like I would say to my friends, “we are a special type of breed.”
