This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.
Confidence is defined as having faith or trust in someone or something. A lot of people don’t really understand the depth of what confidence is, or how to instill it in themselves. Nor do they realize that confidence is not something that you are born with; it is something that you learn. Even the shyest person can learn to exude confidence.
It’s easy to talk yourself out of having confidence. For many of us first-generation college students, self-deprecation is the go-to for most of our internal dialogue In addition, we often compare ourselves to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy. However, your body language can play a big role in counteracting these confidence-busting tendencies.
I remember the first time I had to give a speech in my college speech class. I had started classes two weeks late, so I hadn’t taken part in the confidence-building-let’s-get-to-know-one-another introductory exercises. Nor did I get to be there when everyone else in class gave their first speeches. I had one day to prepare and then deliver my first speech with no frame of reference and no previous interaction with the other students. It could have been a truly horrifying experience. A lot of positive self–talk and internal reassurance went into my speech preparation. I had to tell myself, “This speech isn’t worth a huge portion of my grade, I could fail it and still make an A in the class” … “It’s my first speech; it’s supposed to be a building point” … “This is supposed to be a learning experience, it’s okay to suck.”
Even with all of my psyching-up before the speech, I was still very nervous. Standing at the podium, I had to remind myself to take a few breaths before I started. When my instructor asked me if I was ready, I put my shoulders back, straightened my back, held my head up and smiled. I immediately felt more calm and assured. My confident posture made me feel that I could give my speech and do it well. I ended up getting an A for my first speech.
Many studies have been conducted recently on the effect that the body can have on the mind. One common finding is that smiling can make you happy. Flexing the muscles in your face that are responsible for smiling stimulates the release of hormones that reduce stress and increase feelings of happiness. Likewise, you can create confidence in yourself even when you may not feel it.
I have learned over the years that posture plays a large role in how you are perceived, even by yourself. When you see someone and their back is hunched their shoulders are slouched and, maybe, their arms are crossed over their middle, they are giving off signs that they are closed off, unwelcoming and insecure. Most likely that’s how they feel as well.
I recently watched a video of social psychologist Amy Cuddy entitled “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.” This title tells it all: by mimicking the body language of confident people we can become confident. She talks about using power stances (think Wonder Woman) to create a confident state of mind. Confidence is as much a physical state as it is a mental one.
To look and feel confident, think of how confident people stand and mimic their posture. Stand with your back straight, your shoulders back, your hands relaxed and your head held high. Holding your head up helps you feel and look like you know what you’re doing. Elongating your neck, like you’re trying to be taller than you really are, is a good bolster to self-confidence, and it’s something you can do without people even noticing.
So, the next time you are uncomfortable with something you have to do and you are running low on confidence, take a few seconds to take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, stand up straight, hold your head up and smile. Never forget, other people have faith in you, you should too.