This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.
I am a first-generation college student, and over the course of my life, that identifier has meant a variety of things to me. At first, it was a motivator; it drove me to be better than my peers, my family members, and my former self. Then, it was a stigma. I became a different kind of special, a kind that made my ears burn from embarrassment rather than pride. Finally, though, I realized that this identifier – this label – that both society and I had placed upon me was neither good nor bad in itself; it was simply a label, a qualifier, a property of my existence. It was up to me to make it something to be ashamed or proud of.
Starting in fourth or fifth grade, school became really important to me. As far as my report card was concerned, A’s were a necessity, B’s were for slackers, and C’s were nonexistent. I had always been self-conscious of my socio-economic status, but when academics or work ethic were a part of the conversation, my hand-me-downs didn’t matter – I was the cream of the crop. Conversations about my intelligence and determination were what made me feel good and valuable.
My parents did not attend college. They didn’t even finish high school. My aunts and uncles did not attend college. My older cousins did not attend college. I was the oldest of five children at the time, and knowing all of this was both discouraging and motivating. I was determined to graduate at the top of my class and go to college, but I didn’t know what steps to take to get there except to keep getting A’s. So that’s what I did.
Fortunately, in my junior year, I joined a program called Talent Search. A woman came into my homeroom class one morning and said, “If you want to go to college but neither of your parents went, take one of these forms. I can help you.” I thought the heavens had opened up and sent me an angel, which … they kind of had. With her help, I was able to visit schools, navigate the college application process and fill out the FAFSA. My Talent Search Advisor changed my life.
Once I arrived at college, things were very different. Xavier University was much bigger than my high school, and the work was more difficult. There were people a lot smarter who worked harder than I did, and they came from all backgrounds. In the past, I had been able to make up for my low-class standing by achieving higher grades than my peers. At Xavier, I was average in the classroom but still lowest in socio-economic status, and suddenly, by a much larger margin. It was very discouraging.
Then, I realized I was being labeled. I knew I was the first in my family to go to college, but I didn’t know until college that there was a title for this. I heard it in the financial aid office, in my academic advisor’s office, in classroom presentations by campus clubs and programs: first-gen students this, first-gen students that. If I couldn’t do this, it was probably because I was first-gen. If I didn’t achieve that, it was definitely because I was first-gen.
When I got an email about Student Support Services, the college version of Talent Search, I was hesitant to get involved. With this new label across my forehead, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to perpetuate the distinction by joining a program specifically for first-generation students. However, the amount of help and support I received from Talent Search in high school convinced me to sign up. I was already being singled out and labeled, so I might as well accept the help offered to “people like me,” right?
Student Support Services – my SSS advisor, specifically – got me through my last two years at Xavier. I hit some pretty rough patches of college life, both academically and personally, and my advisor was there for me through them all. Sometimes with encouragement, sometimes with admonishment, but always with compassion, understanding and unwavering support.
Because of programs like Talent Search and Student Support Services, I was able to go to and succeed in college; most important, I was able to realize that I want to do for other first-gen students what was done for me. So not only did my advisors help me get my degree, but they also helped me figure out how to use it.
What they say is true: college is about figuring out who you are. Some people need classes to help them figure it out. Some need new people, locations, or freedom; others need a combination, or the experience as a whole. I still don’t know exactly what it was that I needed, but I got it over the course of those five years. I figured out that I was a first-generation college student who needed help and support and who wanted to help and support other first-generation college students.
I graduated from Xavier University in May 2014 with the first bachelor’s degree in my entire extended family. This year, I became a Talent Search Advisor with Cincinnati Youth Collaborative (CYC). CYC has a 30-year history of empowering underserved students in Cincinnati so that they can reach their greatest potential by graduating high school and achieving post-secondary success. CYC has offered the Talent Search program for more than 20 years, serving approximately 1,300 students just last year. I am overjoyed to have the opportunity to open doors for “first-gen” students the way that my Talent Search Advisor opened doors for me.