I initially wanted to write this post about love and all the wonderful things about my school. However, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the beauty in honesty when things aren’t going quite right.
Winter can be a difficult time for many people. I for one definitely hate the cold and though the snow is pretty to look at from inside my bedroom window, I dread every time I have to go outside and walk in it. (Or really slip on the ice).
For a variety of reasons, this term has been a difficult one. Aside from the icky weather (yes, yes, snow is still pretty), academically I’ve been feeling burnt out! I’m not sure if it’s because this is my third term in a row with online learning (and my eyes are starting to suffer from my increased screen time) and the zoom fatigue or maybe it’s because some of my classes are extremely demanding and I feel like I’m drowning? Honestly, it’s probably all of that and more that I can’t even think of right now.
This term, and this month have brought on a lot of tears and also a lot of love and appreciation for myself and my loved ones. First, I appreciate myself for not only being vulnerable in sharing that I’m struggling right now but also for allowing myself to feel all the mixed emotions I’ve had thus far. Second, my friends have been and continue to be my strongest support systems. Each day I get to talk to them reminds me that I’m not alone, both in my academic struggles and in feeling exhausted by the constant demand to be productive. So maybe this is a love letter after all? Moreso to what my college has given me: my friends. As tired as I may be and as much as I am counting down the days until spring break (about 20 days if anyone is curious), I am extremely lucky to have a wonderful group of people that care about me and remind me to do even the smallest of things like “take breaks” or “stay hydrated”. So to my dear friends, I love you and I love that I get to exist in this world at the same time as you and I love that Dartmouth brought us together. (So thanks to you too, Dartmouth).
This is all to say that college can be a culmination of “yes and’s”. For instance: yes, I love working for the FGLI office and it’s almost week 9 and finals are creeping up and I’m exhausted. Both of these feelings can coexist and that’s perfectly normal. So be kind to yourself (this is more of a reminder for me, but I hope it helps you, too)!