This article was originally written for FirstGenerationStudent.com, now a part of ImFirst.org.
The older I become, the more I reflect on the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I always have to tell myself that all of these blessings didn’t come about by chance, as the odds were stacked against me. Born to a single mother in the inner city, statistics would lead you to believe that I am set up for a life of failure. I like to consider myself a “first-again student” as my grandmother holds a bachelor’s degree in elementary education, yet neither my mother nor father hold college degrees. I went to an inner city college preparatory high school in Saint Louis, Mo., so the message of college has been embedded in my psyche since the age of 11. I am thankful for a mother and grandmother who presented me with a one option for my future: college, no “ifs,” “ands” or “buts.”
Average at a Top High School
Graduating from high school was a blessing in itself as I went to an academically gifted high school but felt average at best. I was a B-/C+ student at a high school with a grading system that used A, B, C and F, (no Ds), a high school where International Baccalaureate (IB) and Advanced Placement (AP) ruled supreme. It was a school with a 100 percent graduation rate and a 100 percent college acceptance rate, where the average ACT score was a 27; a school where one fiercely argued an A- over a B+. It was (and still is) the top high school in the city of Saint Louis and No. 1 in the state. The pressure to succeed was immense and a few times during my high school career I was on the brink of being forced to attend another school because I could not get my academic act together. But, as I said, all of this is not by chance.
Had I attended any other high school I would have been in the top of my class, but when competing with the best and the brightest I felt slightly out of my league. Still, as the spring of 2007 approached, I felt as though I could accomplish anything as I had been in what seem like an Ivy League college for the last four years–and that was just high school. As intentional as my high school education was, I was still a first-generation student and this was still only high school.
A Change of Plans
I consider myself an accidental Husker as I stumbled upon the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (Go Big Red!) purely by chance. I was very intentional regarding what I wanted out of my college education since I attended a high school of 300 students with a graduating class of 56, and did not have what some consider a “traditional” high school experience. I knew that I wanted to attend a college with a student body of at least 10,000 students; the school needed to be out of the state of Missouri, have a major football program (good or bad) and have my desired major. With these criteria in mind, I had my sights set high on the University of Kansas and I wanted to study to become an architect/urban planner. That was not in the cards for me, and like any high school student getting that thin envelope with a rejection letter enclosed, my world was crushed. My mother gave me words of encouragement: “Maybe it is not meant for you to attend KU, God may have a bigger vision for you.”
I was empowered to apply to every school regardless of the admissions criteria; as long as it fit my four criteria, a school received my application. Throughout that spring I applied to Kansas State University, Oklahoma State University, the University of Oklahoma, the University of Tennessee-Knoxville, the University of Missouri-Kansas City, the University of Houston, Texas A&M University, the University of Arkansas-Fayetteville, Ball State University, Syracuse University and, last (but not least), the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. My only reason for applying to University of Nebraska-Lincoln was that my grandmother’s neighbor’s son (a mouthful I know) played basketball for their team, the Cornhuskers, and I inquired about it.
Going With My Gut
April 2007 came and I blindly picked the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (UNL) out of the colleges into which I had been accepted without ever visiting the campus or even talking to an admissions representative. This was one of the best choices I made as I trusted my gut.
Equipped with the experiences I had in high school, I came ready to conquer the world, but quickly learned that the world of higher education is very unfriendly at times to first-generation students. Thankfully, in the spring of 2008, I found a band of brothers in my fraternity, Iota Phi Theta Fraternity Incorporated, who would become my motivators and mentors. These men helped me unleash my full potential, as I was unaware of what I could accomplish if challenged to do so.
No Excuses
Over the course of four and a half years I grew into a man certain of myself and thankful for my high school experience as it had given me an additional set of tools to use when learning how to navigate college. I shifted my focus from architecture to business, and then found my passion for sociology. In the social scene I was a Resident Assistant, New Student Orientation Leader, President of the Greek Council, Vice President of my fraternity, a campus tour guide and an athletic tour guide, so I can say that I had a well-versed and well-connected undergraduate experience.
While everything looked perfect, I must tell you that all of this did not happen by chance. I struggled mightily in my undergraduate years: I faced financial setbacks and academic probation (several times), and I questioned if I was smart enough to be at UNL. Then, I remembered all that I had been through and refused to become a statistic. In some ways, I used fear of returning home a failure as a motivator.
I live by the mantra “no excuses” as this was something I was taught as a new member in my fraternity. This simply means that you devote yourself fully to your commitments and never let a “First World problem” prevent you from doing so.
If you are questioning if you can go to college, I must tell you: Yes, you can! There will be challenges and setbacks, but you will never know the limits of your ability if you never push yourself to reach them. Understand that the tests you face today will give you a testimony of overcoming adversity tomorrow.