It’s only early October, but I already feel like I’m dragging myself through the days.
I feel like this is the part nobody really talks about… like how the semester doesn’t need to be halfway over to feel like you’re already drowning. Everyone keeps saying “pace yourself,” but what does pacing yourself even look like when you’re trying to juggle class, work, leadership roles, applications, and your own spiraling thoughts?
First-gen students aren’t just students. We’re full-time crisis managers, peer advisors, emotional support children, translators, organizers, and sometimes the only person in the room who doesn’t know what FAFSA is.
It’s been a weird mix of everything lately. I just turned 21, and instead of feeling like I’ve stepped into some glamorous adult milestone, I’m feeling… tired, like I’m supposed to be celebrating, but I’m too overwhelmed to process any of it. Sure, I’ve smiled, posted a picture or two to my story, and answered some “happy birthday” texts, but beneath that, there’s this quiet exhaustion that hasn’t let up since the semester started. Every time I sit down to do something, like write a paper, answer an email, or prepare for the LSAT, I’m already worn out before I begin.
That’s the thing about burnout: it doesn’t show up all at once. It builds slowly. It hides under the surface of “I’m just tired today” or “I’ll get more sleep tomorrow.” It disguises itself as productivity, then turns into numbness. You don’t always realize you’re burning out until it’s already happening.
This month, I’ve been trying (like, really trying) to catch myself before I fall back into old patterns. I’ve been building a rhythm that feels more sustainable, even if it’s still not perfect. I’m learning to pause on purpose, to check in with myself before my body forces me to stop, to write “rest” into my planner like it’s just as urgent as a deadline.
Although there are days that are harder than others, here are some things I’ve been trying that might help if you’re in the same boat:
- Noticing my energy, not just my to-do list.
- If I’ve been running on empty for days, it doesn’t matter if the assignment’s due. I have to refill the tank first. That means actually resting, not doing assignments while watching TV or listening to music, napping, and eating food so I don’t pass out from exhaustion.
- Making to-do lists that include joy.
- Rest, movement, music, sunlight, journaling. It all counts. Remember that your body does keep the score, and you don’t want to be older and playing catch up with your health. Take your health seriously now while you’re young; it’s priceless.
- Saying no before I hit my breaking point.
- It’s been hard to say no to things in the past, but something I’ve fully understood this year, although I’ve known it before this point, is that saying “no” is a form of self-care, too. When I say no, I don’t have to justify it. No is a complete sentence. If I’m too overwhelmed, that’s reason enough.
- Asking for help sooner.
- Not when I’m sobbing over an assignment or personal stuff at 2 a.m., but before I get there. It’s okay to ask for help—it’s not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength.
- Letting myself be human.
- I’m not a machine, and I don’t want to become one just to survive school.
There’s so much pressure to be exceptional when you’re first-gen, to do it all, and then some. However, sometimes, the most exceptional thing you can do is say, “I’m not okay, and I need a break.” and take said break. You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to burn out just to prove you’re worthy of being here.
Right now, I’m learning that slowing down is not the same as giving up. It’s a way of choosing myself before I disappear into the noise. If you’re also feeling that slow unravel right now, I hope you know you’re not alone. You can still be ambitious when you’re tired, passionate when you’re overwhelmed, and capable while you’re struggling. All of these can be true at once. Just don’t wait until you’re in survival mode to start caring for yourself. You deserve peace now, not just after exams and assignments.
Hang in there! We got this.
– Toni <3